Hey faggots,
People always ask me "Zach, how have you managed to have such a successful love life?" To which I reply "I don't. I'm actually very alone literally all the time" Then they'll say "Wow, that's pretty sad" and then I say "Yeah, it's pretty depressing. I wish you hadn't mentioned it actually." Then they apologize and walk away, and I go home and cry myself to sleep.
Everybody is so obsessed these days with being in relationships or saving their relationship or going on Facebook and complaining about how noone will ever love them. Everyone but me that is. To me, relationships are like when you say a word over and over, and the more you say it, the weirder it starts to sound. People don't realize it, but relationships are retarded. Why would two people want to spend all their time together? Dinners, talking, movies, gifts, talking, birthdays, holidays, 8 hour trips to Brockport, talking. It never ends! My question is: what do I get in return for all this crap? Some tool might say "Zach, nothing is more beautiful or precious than being loved by another person!" And if you said that to me in person, I'd fart in your face. I can think of several things more precious than love, and the main ingredient for most of them is rum.
The problem is that most teenagers are insecure and have low self-esteem which is completely understandable because most teenagers are worthless leeches that are sucking the life blood out of society. When people have low self- esteem, they look for somebody to tell them that they shouldn't kill themself, so they just spend their whole life looking for a relationship. Teenagers are the last people that should be in relationships because they can't even control their own lives, but they're trying to get involved in somebody elses? That's some of the funniest shit I've ever heard.
I don't play those games. I'm not looking to "share" my life with anybody. It's mine! All mine! To quote the great James Hetfield "Its my world, you cant have it". You may not recognize that quote because it's from a terrible fucking song. I sometimes think about the type of person I've been and I think that maybe I'm just unlovable, and you wanna know what I've done to change that? Absolutely fucking nothing! I think I'm awesome and quite frankly, that's all that matters. I don't give a fuck about what anyone else thinks, and because of that, I find no reason to look for a relationship.
Maybe one day I'll find a nice young, sexy, super model that like sports, ska music and boner jokes. Maybe she'll be cool with naming our first son Murdertron and she wont have a family so I'll never have to go hang out with them and she'll make me meatball heros while I'm playing Battlefield 3. That's the kinda relationship I'd like to find. If that can't happen, then I'm cool with sleeping all day, drinking all night and writing blogs about all sorts of random shit until I die at the tender age of 34.
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