Hey faggots,
Studies show that about 95% of people are horribly unattractive. Taking into consideration that there are about 6 million people on earth, that equals out to almost 4 million people that are ugly. Let that sink in for a moment. Out of all the people you will pass in a day, maybe one or two will be attractive. I use the term "attractive" loosely because some people are attractive in different aspects. One has a nice ass, one has a nice rack and one has a nice personality that no one will ever know about because her face looks like the bomb site at the Boston marathon. Today I tell you how to go from Rocky Dennis to Rocky Balboa... which still isn't good, but it's progress.
Dress to impress... nobody! I put absolutely no effort into how I dress. I've created my own fashion style, which I labeled "scumbag fresh". The basic principles of Scumbag Fresh is to look like a homeless loser, without actually being a homeless loser. I often wear baggy, dark grey sweatpants with a baggy, dreary, plain t-shirt and damn do I look good! Women like telling people that they love a guy in a suit or dressed like a fancy boy, but they're liars. All of them. What they really want is a guy that wakes up in the morning, grabs the first pair of sweats he can find, and says "that'll work". This dress code shows confidence and an "I dont care how society wants me to dress! I'm going to live life by my own rules!" attitude.
Now that you got the ill threads on, let's focus on your horrible face. Most guys don't know this, but there is a great way to make anybody look better: don't shave. I only shave on special occasions, and my idea of a "special occasion" is very vague. Like I really don't give a shit about anything. Seriously. By no means do I have a full beard and honestly, what I do have can almost barely be considered facial hair. Regardless of this, I let my face go weeks or maybe months without seeing a razor because I'm a rugged-ass man, and women love it! When you shave your face, you might as well just cut your balls off too.
Beauty doesn't stop at your grotesque, unshaven face. And it certainly doesn't stop with the hoodrat rags you call clothes. Everybody knows it's all about the footwear. Personally, I love wearing my Vans skate shoes. I've had them since high school and they are as Scumbag Fresh as it gets. The soles are virtually nonexistent, and I believe that not only do they not offer my feet any support, but that they actually make my feet hurt worse than they would if I were walking barefoot. So grab yourself some old, shitty sneakers and soon you'll be up to your neck in naked women.
For the ladies! Now I don't have much to say for all the women out there, but I can offer a mans perspective. If I were to try and help women to look more attractive, I would give them this simple piece of advice: wear as little as possible as often as possible. Don't question it. Don't argue with it. Just do it. I know what I'm talking about. If you're still ugly after all this, have fun working at Wal-Mart.
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